Yes and No: 2 Powerful Words

Two of our culture’s most powerful words are also among the shortest: yes and no.

Each world helps us claim ourselves, our time and our actions. They also help frame our attitudes about life.

We all know people game for anything you throw at time. These folks love life, embrace newness and change.

And we all know people who are just the opposite. I call them “Dr. No.” They reject everything you put in front of them.

The way to be happy, Ghandi once said, is to do more of the things that give you joy and less of the things that do not. So, what are we saying yes and no to?

The Power of Saying Yes

In the world of improvisational comedy, the No. 1 rule for actors is to have one simple mindset. It’s called “Yes, and . . .”

It’s the name given to the open-minded concept that whatever the other actor(s) say, it’s accepted as reality. And that what you say in response adds to that reality with something specific for the first actor (or others) to react to in a similar fashion.

For example:

Actor 1 says: “I can’t believe we landed on Mars of all places!”

Actor 2 should respond: “I know, right? And with all these guns, too!”

Actor 1 is duty-bound to respond to the introduction of guns. And so on.

“Yes and . . .” is a short rule led by a powerful three-letter word.

Outside the world of improv – you know, the real world – “yes” by itself is an equally significant concept. It’s human agreement. One person to another. A student to a teacher. A child to a parent. A follower to a leader. Or vice versa.

Yes is a key part of collaboration, teamwork, and progress. With an understood agreement among peers and colleagues, things get done.

The Power of Saying No

Conversely, the word “no” has a negative connotation. When you use it, you’re putting a stop to something, perhaps something that has yet to begin. You’re defending yourself from something. Or protecting yourself.

Except I don’t think that telling someone no is a negative. It’s positive, even if the other person might consider it a rejection.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone asks you to do them a favor and you tell them no – and then they confess, “I don’t blame you. But I thought I’d try.” You know, giving you a backhanded compliment?

Regardless, saying no is empowering. It’s an act of claiming your time in the world, rejecting places you don’t want to be, people you prefer not to be with and events you don’t care to attend. All the while, you make space for all the people, places and things and feed your soul.

There’s an argument to be made that we, as humans, are curious people, so we should poke that curiosity by trying new adventures. Nothing wrong with that.

But if you have already experienced something that you don’t want to revisit – not that it’s awful, just that you’ve been there, done that and don’t feel the need to try it again – it’s fine to say no.

Another key part about no is . . . moving on. Don’t regret the choice. You made it, but don’t dwell on it.

Deciding Between Yes and No

These yes and no decisions are ones I’ve wrestled with consistently – and sometimes deeply – since starting down the path of writing fiction. As is the case with most fiction authors, the finished product is long, 65,000 words or more (86,000 in the case of “Dead Odds” and more than 100,000 words right now on the current draft of “Dead Sleep.”

There are many places in the story where I’ve had to make yes and no decisions:

• About character actions and motivations

• About whether to kill off a character

• About whether to pursue a C or D storyline

• About whether the draft is complete

What’s the right answer? Is there a right answer?

Mostly, the yes and no crossroad is about policing my time, setting boundaries about my ability to sit in place, undistracted, and get the work done. In 2025, a year of dramatic change for me, this was easier said than done.

I’m making choice to make this easier in 2026 and beyond. I’ve had to accept the fact that there’s no absolute answer for each time you have to make a choice.

Choose, accept the results and move to the next decision. Except . . . there’s this process called editing. You get to do it when you write. Not as much in real life.